Dear Newlywed Guru,
Me and my husband have been married for a little over a year and I have an issue concerning my mother-in-law. I love my mother-in-law, but she invites herself to visit us and stays up to 6 weeks at a time. She lives quite a distance from us and a few years back lost her husband. I know this may sound a little selfish of me but we are still newlyweds and love having her come to visit but she stays too long. My husband can’t seem to bring himself to say anything to her. What can I do?
Helpless in my own home
It’s normal to feel the need to spend time with your new husband so don’t feel like it’s selfish. Many times in-laws need to be reminded that this is all new to a newly married couple. So, here’s my suggestion: You and your husband make a six month schedule of available dates for your mother-in-law to visit. You can say something like “Mom, me and (husband’s name) love having you come to visit us and since we are working on our next six month goals we want to make sure you know the dates that we will be available for you to come visit us.” Now, choose 2 or 3 dates and lengths of stay and put it in calendar form to make it handy for her. This way she knows that you want to see her and also knows when you will be available and for how long. Basically, you have just taken control of the situation. Try it and let me know.
Stay in love,
The Newlywed Guru