Dear Newlywed Guru,

Helpless in my own home

Dear Helpless,

It’s normal to feel the need to spend time with your new husband so don’t feel like it’s selfish. Many times in-laws need to be reminded that this is all new to a newly married couple. So, here’s my suggestion: You and your husband make a six month schedule of available dates for your mother-in-law to visit. You can say something like “Mom, me and (husband’s name) love having you come to visit us and since we are working on our next six month goals we want to make sure you know the dates that we will be available for you to come visit us.” Now, choose 2 or 3 dates and lengths of stay and put it in calendar form to make it handy for her. This way she knows that you want to see her and also knows when you will be available and for how long. Basically, you have just taken control of the situation. Try it and let me know.

Stay in love,

The Newlywed Guru

Dear Newlywed Guru,

Looking to the future

Dear Looking to the future,

Don’t look so far ahead. Sure you will be married forever and it’s good to be proactive instead of reactive but honey you just got married. Keep involved in your interests and develop new interests along the way. If you like gardening, keep doing it, if you love to volunteer, keep doing it, whatever interests you keep doing it. Probably, this is a part of what he fell in love with when he fell in love with you.

Stay in love,

The Newlywed Guru

Dear Newlywed Guru,

Sleepless in Orlando

Dear Sleepless,

Well, don’t lose anymore sleep because in marriage you must pick and choose your battles. Although this has hurt your feelings do not let it become a big issue between you. Men do sometimes seem thoughtless and will forget events and issues that are important to us, but it does not mean they love us any less. Here’s what you can do in the future to help minimize this from happening again. About a week before your anniversary, begin leaving small tokens for him – a love letter or “your wish is my command” coupons, or lingerie wrapped and given to him as a gift to be worn by you on your anniversary. I bet he won’t forget then…lol. Oh, and make sure to set the mood with scented candles, soft pillows and maybe new bedding.

Stay in love,

The Newlywed Guru

Dear Newlywed Guru,

Feeling Blue

Dear Feeling Blue,

Don’t panic. What you are experiencing is a common reaction for many newly married couples. It is a sort of “buyers remorse complex” where as you have finally gotten who you want in your life and now have doubts if you can live up to the reality of spending your life together. Forever. Try focusing on the life plan that you and your spouse have developed (if not, get on it right away) prior to getting married. As time goes by and you get more and more comfortable with each other, many of the feelings of doubt will go away. Check out my blog from contributing staff Jennifer Lee. She has a wonderful project for both of you to do. You might just learn some interesting things about each other that you didn’t know.

Stay in love,

The Newlywed Guru

Dear Guru,

Can’t boil an egg

Dear Can’t Boil an Egg,

I was hoping I received a email like this so I could give a shameless plug on our new personal cooking class. See the details about our private cooking class for newlyweds at our Apperances page on our website thenewlywedguru.com/honeymoon-club and don’t worry The Newlywed Guru will have you whipping up easy meals in no time.