The Newlywed Guru

What is YOUR ideal vacation?

newlywedguru — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 13:39:26 +0000

Summertime has arrived and like many people I am considering taking a vacation. If you are like me you want to go somewhere where you can “rest” which usually means I will be so active that once I return I will need another vacation. But not this year! This year I am taking a cruise. I am limiting my shore excursions and spending my time enjoying the services of the cruise ship. Here is some of what I plan to do. I have reserved a full day at the spa; mud wraps, massage and mani-pedi. I deserve it, right? I will eat at several specialty restaurants aboard the ship, I plan to karaoke this year, and take lots of fun classes, I will become a fierce competitor in the game shows and dance like it’s 1999 again, I will attend all the theatre productions and shows and I will not chicken out to ride the surf and climb rock walls. Oh boy, this is going to be the best vacation and when I get back……I will probably need another vacation. LOL.

So where are YOU vacationing this year?

Can I offer you a cool drink?

newlywedguru — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:01:20 +0000

Mango Margaritas

4 ripe mangos

1 can frozen limeade

1 ½ cups of margarita mix reserve ¼ cup

¼ cup sugar

3 ounces tequila

4 cups crushed ice

Course sugar for dipping

Lime slices

Peel and slice mangos and combine with limeade, margarita mix, sugar and tequila in a blender for 15 seconds. Add crushed ice and blend until margaritas are slushy. Rub edge of margarita glass with lime and dip into reserved ¼ cup of margarita mix and course sugar. Pour margaritas into glasses. Serves 6

Tip: Chill margarita glasses in freezer several hours before serving

3 Things that COULD make him cheat

newlywedguru — Thu, 30 May 2013 10:30:47 +0000

As women we sometimes think that the wedding ring is a guarantee that we will be married forever. But there are certain things that we should not take for granted. From a Man’s perspective there are three things you might want to keep in mind. This is a guest blog from radio personality and host of the Michael Baisden Show.

The Bait and Switch
Punishing/Withholding Sex
Gaining (A significant amount of) weight

The Bait and Switch

There is a rule that newlywed couples should live by – don’t do anything in the first six months that you don’t plan on doing for the rest of the marriage. This is true not only for newly married couples, but for those dating as well. We want so hard to impress our mates and be the perfect couple that we can pretend to play a role that we are not willing to play in a relationship.

These misconceptions can take place in many forms. So ladies, here it is: If you’re not a super chef in the kitchen, don’t pull the old Fake and Bake, making your husband believe you’re a Rachel Ray when you can’t boil water. If you were a super fly chick when you met, don’t expect that it’s all of a sudden okay to turn into a “sweats and t-shirts,” chick. And if you were a super freak in the bedroom – don’t think that it’s okay to turn into a nun. Don’t try to fool yourself or your mate. All of these things (as well as a host of others) equate to a breach of contract. You’re not the person you sold yourself to be and the new person may not be what your significant other wants. These scenarios could lead your mate to someone else-even if they are very much in love with you.

Punishing With/Withholding Sex

Bargaining with sex is ALWAYS a bad idea. Sorry. There is NEVER a good reason to use sex for any more than what it is meant for: a physical expression of the love/feelings you have for each other. I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing by not sleeping with him, but I can tell you what you are accomplishing — sending him into the arms of another woman.

Gaining (A significant amount of) Weight

Gaining a significant amount of weight can put a heavy strain on the marriage. It does not mean that he doesn’t love you anymore but it can mean that he may no longer find you sexually attractive. And no, love and sex are not synonymous. By not taking care of yourself, you are putting your relationship or marriage in jeopardy. We like to pretend like sex isn’t a big part of a relationship but the number one and number two reasons for divorce are money and sex. Which also happen to be the two things people like to pretend aren’t that important in love and relationships.

Courtesy of Michael Baisden

Dealing with Step Children: Yours, Mine, Ours

newlywedguru — Thu, 23 May 2013 15:29:48 +0000

A few years back, a friend of mine got married to a man that had three children from a previous relationship. My friend also had three children from a previous relationship. Kind of Brady Bunch situation. So I decided to give her a book on how to combine the two families. She read the book and later told me it had some useful advice. I asked her what she found was most important and here is what she said:

“We took the advice about sitting down with each other and defining what we were trying to accomplish in our marriage and we shared this information with our children in a group setting.”

“We both defined what each of our roles were and how we were going to handle each and all situations. We asked for questions from our children, some of who were adults, and we were surprised how each one had a different idea as to how they thought we were going to function. This was extremely helpful.”

Well, it must have worked because they are still a family. A few bumps along the way, but hey, that’s family! Still going strong after 10 years.

Flirting: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

newlywedguru — Mon, 13 May 2013 13:00:38 +0000

This subject has always interested me because I can see it from the good aspect and the bad aspect.

What is Flirting?

Flirt: noun/verb meaning to make advances toward someone. Definition: seducer, player, come on, bat eyes, make a pass, ogle, pick up, wink at, lead on and proposition.

Flirting is a Good Thing

Let’s take a look at the good of flirting in a marriage. Flirting with your mate can enhance spiciness in a marriage. It’s a playful way of sexually arousing each other. Being playful with your mate is healthy; it promotes a happy environment and contributes to bringing the two of you closer to each other. It’s letting your mate know you find them attractive. It’s the prelude to foreplay.

Flirting is a Bad Thing

Flirting outside your marriage is a dangerous act. In many cases it has lead to infidelity. For example: you notice an attractive co-worker. You wink, and he/she winks back. You both begin to comment on the appearance of each other, the outfit they are wearing, the hairstyles, etc. Eventually you begin speaking in more depth and learning more about their lives. This could lead to sharing intimate information about you and your mate’s lives, especially if you have had a recent disagreement or argument.

Flirting is an Ugly Thing

Before you know it, this person becomes a “shoulder for you to cry on” so to speak, available whenever you need someone to talk to and share your frustrations. Maybe over a cup of coffee or lunch or even dinner? Just to talk things out of course. Too bad your mate wasn’t more like this co-worker…hmm…See how the pattern develops?

So the moral of this story: Make sure you only have eyes for each other!

-The Newlywed Guru